The Radleys Review

"A thirst she never knew she had is being quenched, the relief of dry land absorbing the first drops of rain."

Do vampires make good neighbors?

Helen and Peter Radley do their best to fit in to their small English town.  Peter's a doctor and Helen is a member of a book club.  Son Rowan is pale and awkward, and daughter Clara is more interested in becoming a vegetarian than trying to be popular.

But Helen and Peter are hiding a big secret, on not even Rowan and Clara know- They are Abstainers.

No, not the kind of abstinence that Bristol Palin is paid to endorse.  The Radleys are vampires who abstain from drinking blood.  And if you're picturing hot, "vegetarian" like Cullens, you couldn't be more wrong.

Abstainers have none of the perks that vampires have, in fact they have all of the misery of being mere humans and then some.  Despite Rowan's skin rash from the sun, his long sleepless nights and his tired days, despite the fact that Clara's "no animal" diet is making her ill and weak, the Radley kids miss the clue train until Clara falls off the Abstinence wagon and brother and sister quickly discover the truth about their heritage. 

Peter's brother Will comes to help, but he comes with his own agenda regarding the Radleys.  Will is old school vampire- he drinks blood, he does a little mind control, and he takes whatever he wants whenever he wants it.  Helen, meanwhile, isn't through keeping secrets, Peter's busy being tempting by a tasty and flirtatious neighbor, Clara is discovering an entirely new kind of hunger, and poor Rowan is still pale and pining for teen dream Eve, with little chance of winning her.

Will the Radleys embrace their true natures?  Will Clara jump back on the Abstinence wagon?  Will property values decline if their neighbors discover that the Radleys are vampires?

So many things to love about this novel!  First, and most shallow- is the short chapters.  Here's the thing: I love reading before bed.  If a book has long chapters and I still have 7 pages or more to go before the next break, chances are I'm shutting the book closed even before getting to that point.  Short chapters almost always guarantee me staying up until 3am and finishing the entire novel.  I love that.  Even if it makes me a sleep deprived zombie the next day.

Secondly, you get the viewpoint of all characters- even supporting characters like Eve and Will.  It might be a sign I've been reading a little too much YA...

Thirdly- Will Radley.  He's a bad boy vampire.  And I knew this instantly because his ringtone is the Rolling Stone's Sympathy For The Devil. Anyone who's seen the movie version of Interview With A Vampire knows that the song is played when Tom Cruise comes for Christian Slater snack at the end of the movie (a snack I was quite keen on in the early 90's myself). Very cheeky, Matt Haig!

Fourthly- all the listed famous vampires- from Homer to Jimi Hendrix, Bram Stoker to Danielle Steel. I personally think this explains a lot about James Patterson's ability to churn out so many novels- and I'm pretty sure that old school YA horror write R.L. Stine is also a vampire.  

Fifthly I loved the excerpts taken from The Abstainer's Handbook.  Mr. Haig, I will love you forever if you decide to publish an entire Abstainer's Handbook!  No worries, though.  I'm happily married, so coupled with the fact that I'm banned from international travel (due in large part to my extensive past stalking of Bono), the love I carry for you would be safely from afar.

Sixthy- the name Radley.  Am I the only one that immediately thought of the strange and mysterious neighbor's in To Kill A Mockingbird? I love how it's an old vampire family name.

The Radleys get a Midnight Book Rating of Midnight.  It literally had me staying up all night to finish it.   It might not be a perfect book, but it's perfectly entertaining.  I look forward to checking out his other novels.

I know you're probably tired of vampire novels, but this is no wannabe Twilight or Dracula.  So if you still harbor even a tiny amount of love for the fanged ones, than I think you'll find your continued love for the undead rewarded in The Radleys.

*I received a copy of this book from the publisher.*


Challenges that I'm participating in that this book qualifies for: