Tris & Izzie Review

Tris & Izzie
by Mette Ivie Harrison
From Goodreads:

“I don’t want him to love me because of a potion,” she said.

Izzie loves Mark, and why shouldn’t she? As the captain of the basketball team, he is kind and loving and he’s everything she’s ever wanted in a boyfriend. Her BFF loves . . . somebody, but she won’t say who. So when a hot new guy, Tristan, shows up at school, who better for Izzie to fix up her friend[LL1]  with? And what better way to do it than with a love philtre?

But even the best of magic has a way of going awry—and Izzie finds she’s accidentally fallen in love with Tristan herself. And that’s a problem. First of all, there’s Mark. Second, Tristan comes with baggage—like the supernatural creatures that keep attacking whenever he’s with Izzie, and the fact that he comes from the place where Izzie’s father was killed, years ago, by an enormous, evil serpent that’s still around—and it knows Izzie is out there.

Like Mettie Ivie Harrison’s The Princess and the Hound, praised by Orson Scott Card as “powerful, surprising, moving, and deep—a classic,” Tris and Izzie rings the changes on a timeless legend, this time in a contemporary high school setting.

My Thoughts: You know what would be really cool? If publishers would allow you to buy posters of book art with the purchase of a YA novel.  Because then this book would be worth spending my money on.

I hate to give negative reviews, which has been easier now that I'm no longer forcing myself to finish books that I'm not enjoying.  But I signed up for an ARC tour of Tris & Izzie, so I'm just going to be honest, and I honestly did not like this book.

Expect some spoilers, because I have to discuss the plot in order to explain all the reasons this book let me down.

Despite the lovely cover, despite the author's cool sounding first name, despite the mythology behind the main characters, this book fails on so many levels.  Izzie (Isolde) is the most selfish, arrogant, annoying main character I've come across in YA literature- and I freely admit to having read the Gossip Girl series.  All the other characters who are not named Izzie are shallow and one dimensional.  Branna has to be the worst friend in history, with mood swings rivaling Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde.  Mark, the "perfect" boyfriend is boring and flaky, and Tristan, although hot, is so undeveloped and stiff that only his cool sword and homeless teen vagabond status made an impression on me.

But you're probably wondering what the story's about.  After all, it's based on a great love story.  How bad could it be?

Brace yourselves, because it's bad.  Or ridiculous, I'm still working it out.

Izzie lives the typical teenager life, you know, popular, dating the best looking boy in school, loyal best friend, clear skin.  But her mom's a witch.  Who makes potions.  So when Branna, her bff, starts acting all moody, Izzie decides that the best thing for her friend is to give her a love potion to tie her FOREVER to new boy Tristan.  A love potion so strong that the only cure is death.  And maybe not even then.  This is what Izzie chooses to give to her best friend just to get her out of the doldrums.  Because, God knows if you haven't found true love by sixteen, then you might as well hang up the old spinster cat lady sign on your door.

Okay...

So Izzie gives a love potion to Tristan, and I won't even tell you how impossible and ridiculous the scene is, and Tristan drinks it because he is already under Izzie's spell even though she's a complete wench to him (which begs the question why she'd want to hook her bff up with a boy she can't stand).  But of course Branna won't drink it and in order to stop her perfect Big Man On Campus boyfriend, Mark, from drinking it, Izzie downs it herself.  Instead of, I don't know, pouring it out.  Which was a mistake on the author's part because boy on boy love could have been the saving grace of this novel.

Then much magical and further ridiculous things occur.  Izzie suddenly not only lurves Tristan, but she hates him too.  And she hates Mark touching her and pretty much beats him like those poor animals you see on the Humane Society commercials *cue Sarah McLachlan music*.  She literally smacks the boy... but of course, and this is spoilerish, he PUNCHES her in the face later on.   Now, Izzie is annoying, she is a bad person, but I'm kind of not okay with boys punching girls in the face, ever.  

And what about bff Branna?  I can't even tell you how toxic their supposed friendship is.  Her character goes through more changes than Sarah Jessica Parker goes through wardrobe changes in a Sex in the City movie.  Nothing she does makes sense.  She's loyal to Izzie, no she's not, yes she is, no she's really not, then she's risking her life for her.  The girl needs some heavy medication. And Izzie doesn't find it at all curious why her best friend won't admit who she has a crush on, doesn't even really spend all that much time trying to pry the information out of Branna.  Izzie just decides to make her friend fall in love, a love so strong that you can die from it, with someone of Izzie's choosing.  I actually have to say maybe Branna's behavior makes more sense in that light- you know, what kind of girl who wasn't completely insane could stand to be friends with Izzie?

And Izzie's mom?  I'll just say her mom isn't very forthcoming.  Oh, yeah, you're dad didn't actually die from an illness, it was a giant snake.  Who wants to eat you.  Because he eats magical virgins.  Which is the best reason against abstinence I have ever read.  Wait, the giant snake won't eat me if I have sex?  Off to Planned Parenthood for some birth control!  This strangely does not occur to any of the teens in the town Tristan is from, because they are obviously hormone free teens much like "Tris" himself. 

What makes the legend of Tristan and Isolde so compelling is that the two of them fall in love, and through circumstances beyond their control, aren't allowed to be together.  In the legend the character of Mark is a father figure to Tristan, who fights valiantly for him, and Isolde is the woman who is betrothed to him.  But she and Tristan fall in love before they discover their connection.  It's all angsty and tragic, and nobody really wins because they all have love for each other.  (Not unlike Guinevere and Sir Lancelot, which I guess should have been a clue that I wouldn't care for Izzie since I always though Guinevere was a selfish rhymes with witch). 

You will find none of this in the book, although the love potion plot does appear in some of the legends (because back in the day it was used as an excuse for Tristan and Isolde to sleep around behind King Mark's back- the potion was controlling them! They had no choice but to give into their passion!)

Super-Spoilersh, but chances are you're not going to read the book anyway, so why not take a chance?:

So there's two headed dogs, giants, magical towns, and a bunch of other stuff thrown into the story (actually, I would not be surprised if this was a NaNoWriMo novel, but the fact that not enough characters are killed off makes me doubt that this was all done just for word count).  One character, Mel, appears to have no real purpose, and is written off at the end as an after thought.  Oh, Mel?  That somewhat evil and slimy character from the beginning of the book? Uh, he's gone.

Even the romance is hard to believe, and this is coming from someone who bought Bella and Edward's super-fast insta-love (hook, line and sinker.  Well played, Stephenie Meyers).  Tristan loves Izzie even before swallowing the potion, Branna loves Mark because... I don't know, because he's tall?  And Izzie and Tristan didn't really drink a love potion (which her mom knows, and yet says nothing, which really defies reason), so the romance supposedly driving this story is based on nothing.  Tristan doesn't even have a cool car or sparkle in the sun. 

I guess the best thing I can say about this book, other than the lovely cover, is that it was a fast read.  I honestly don't know anyone that I could recommend this book to, younger readers who could maybe forgive the weak plot and characters probably shouldn't be reading books in which teens go around hitting, smacking and punching each other without real world consequences.

I will say this in support of the author- she wrote a book.  She didn't just sit on her butt complaining about other people's work, she actually finished a manuscript and got it published (and not a self-publishing program on Amazon or the kind where you have to pay someone to print it).  It might not be very good- in my opinion- but I have to give her credit for trying.  This just was not the book for me.

Tris & Izzie gets a Midnight Book Rating of:

Although, as my friend Susan pointed out, I kind of feel like this book owes me my time back...