About FIFTY SHADES
OF LOUISA MAY
Louisa May Alcott, author of the
classic Little Women,
friend of Emerson, Thoreau and Hawthorne,
beloved icon of professors of
American 19th-century literature and perhaps
less loved by their legions of
students, had a lusty side that was less
academic, and more . . .
transcendental than any of us knew.
Brilliantly
penned
by a well-known writer who prefers the cloak of
anonymity to the vulgar
embrace of rude fame (of which s/he has no
need), this hilarious little book
reveals the unbridled
passion-that-might-have-been of one of the
world’s most
popular authors.
A racy
memoir that just might tell us more about the
sowing of transcendental wild
oats than any ream of volumes on the
subject, FIFTY SHADES OF LOUISA MAY (OR
Books; Publication Date: August 22, 2012;
$15pbk/$10ebook) is not for the weak
of art, or for those who prefer their literary
icons under glass. It imagines
an unhinged Melville doing what comes naturally,
a Centennial Ball unlike any
heretofore described, Louisa May’s ardent
encounters with her “Wooden Friend,”
and much, much more. All lovingly illustrated
with X-rated woodcuts.
About LOUISA MAY
ANONYMOUS
The
award-winning author of FIFTY SHADES OF LOUISA
MAY has published many
highly regarded works of fiction, none of them
under a pseudonym. Until now.
For this book, "LMA" immersed her/himself in the
literature of the
Transcendentalists, reading literally thousands
of pages by and about them.
S/he is recovering, slowly.
An
Interview with LOUISA MAY ANONYMOUS
Q: Why
did you write this book?
LMA: I wondered what
Louisa May would have made of the
Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon. After
all, she wrote
“blood-and-thunder” romances and thrillers under
pseudonyms. So it’s clear that
she had a darker, more sexual side—one that she
kept carefully hidden. My book
unleashes the inner Louisa and lets her have her
say.
Q: So
she
was lusty, then?
LMA: The real Louisa May
probably died a virgin, so lust
wasn’t central to her life. She was sickly,
overworked, overmedicated, and
unable to take much enjoyment from her
remarkable success. Fifty Shades of
Louisa May is an attempt to give her a
second chance at life and sex. In
it, Louisa May has a lot of sexual
encounters—though they end up being more
hilarious than erotic, as is frequently the case
in life and literature. But
why not let Louisa May cut loose and have a
little fun for once?
Q: How
did you write this book?
LMA: I immersed myself
in their world by reading
dozens of books on Transcendental history and
books of the era. I took field
trips to Orchard House, Fruitlands, and other
landmarks. Then the spirit of
Louisa May entered me (won’t say where) and
guided my hand. To write the book,
that is.
Q: Why
do
so many people seem outraged by your book?
LMA:
Because they want to keep
Louisa May in some kind of virginal vault that
denies that she was a complex
woman with desires, bad moods, grudges, and a
sense of humor. They should
lighten up. In my book, Louisa May never gets
tied up or spanked, tempting as
that was. She’s in charge.
Q:
Aren’t
you making fun of her?
LMA: No, I’m having fun with
her. If the book
makes fun of anyone, it’s the sanctimonious men
who surrounded her, from her
loony father on down.
Q:
Would
she approve?
LMA: Of course not. Are you
kidding?
Q: Was
it
difficult to write about 19th-century
sex?
LMA: Sex in any era is
still sex. It’s not like we’ve come up with lots
of great innovations in sex
lately, beyond Internet porn, of course. The
Transcendentalists are often
thought of as fancy-thinking deities. Fifty
Shades of Louisa May
imagines them on a more human level, where they
shed all of their pretensions.
And their clothes.
Q: How
did the Fifty Shades trilogy inspire a
historical work?
LMA:Well, it’s clear
that the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon
has hit a literary g-spot by
revealing the inner desires of fictional
characters. Fifty Shades of Louisa
May just takes it further, revealing the
sexual secrets of literary
figures—Melville, Emerson, Thoreau, Hawthorne,
and more. Luckily, all are too
dead to sue.
Q:
Isn’t
this book just fan fiction for Fifty Shades?
LMA:
Hardly. First of all,
I’m not a fan. Rich man + semi-submissive woman
= avant garde sexuality? I
don’t think so. Plus, the writing blows kraken
whales (quoting Melville here).
So my
book is neither parody nor homage. It hijacks
the title, throws away the
seriousness and the bondage, and lets legendary
authors perform ridiculous and
embarrassing sexual acts. As writers of any era
often do. So call it lewditure.
Call it literotica.
Q:
What
do you have against the Transcendentalists?
LMA:
They were proto-hippies who
brought a critical line of free-thinking
humanism to the world. They were way
ahead of their times. But they weren’t saints.
Thoreau was a grouchy
trustifarian and onanist. Like a lot of writers,
Melville was manic-depressive
and delusional. Hawthorne was twee and neurotic
as an indoor cat. Emerson seems
to have been high on opiates a lot of the time.
And the Peabody sisters were
libertines in training. If the E!
Network existed in their day, the
Transcendentalists would have been all over it.
Q:
What
did you end up feeling for the actual Louisa
May?
LMA: Deep admiration. She was
a remarkably hard-working, politically engaged
writer who achieved incredible
success back when women were still fighting to
get to vote. That she became a
captive to her success is tragic. That critics
and readers have made her a
poster-child for old-fashioned goodness
is reductive, inaccurate,
and unfair. She was a talented, creative soul
who deserved a better life. Or at
least a heart-thumping roll in the hayloft once
in awhile.
Q: So
who
are you, exactly?
LMA: Can’t tell. Though the
answer’s hidden in the book if
you look hard enough.
Q: Why
the secrecy?
LMA: I
write in a different genre and have committed
readers (and publishers) all over
the world. A book like this would confuse
everyone. I wanted to write a book
free of my own reputation for once—as Louisa May
certainly must have wanted to
in her day. Now’s the time.
